Suffer not a Witch to Live, Part 3: Portrait of a Witch, 2 - The Stars, Laura Beth

Laura Beth Finley looks to the stars and astrology to escape confusion and gain understanding of people. It's no wonder considering her early life on earth.

The heavens have always provided a respite for the earthbound. Contained within clustered mysteries is the history of ancient cultures long before we humans inhabited Earth. Many seek guidance, answers, and/or understanding from the stars, while others partake in research, or simply drink in the view. Stargazing is more than than just seeing a few white dots if you truly look.

Oscar Wilde once said, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." "Gutter" obviously a metaphor for gravity, or the weight of life we lug about at times. What better escape than a vast space containing beauty, mystery, and quite possibly the answers we seek.

For Finley the question wasn't, "Where did I come from?", or "Who am I? Why am I here?" It was simply a desire to understand people and build meaningful and lasting relationships. After years of nightmares coupled with domestic and sexual abuse, the heavens became Finley's respite.

Old Hag Syndrome

One of the first experiences four year-old Finley remembers was "an old witch" terrorizing her at night. Though many children suffer nightmares, or much more dramatic night terrors, "Old Hag" Syndrome ( OHS), or "Night Hag" has been documented by the medical profession as a condition of "sleep paralysis" ( SP or ISP for "isolated sleep paralysis" ). The name of the phenomenon comes from an ancient superstitious belief that a witch - or an old hag - renders the victim helpless by sitting on their chest.

Despite age or gender, it appears no one is immune to the incident, and seems to happen to about 15 percent of the population at least once in a lifetime. That's about 785 million men, women, and children ( in case you thought the percentage minor ) who suffer from these episodes. It can occur while the victim is sleeping during the day or night, and it is a worldwide mystery that has been documented since ancient times. Greek physician Galen attributed the phenomenon to indigestion in the 2nd century.

According to The Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits by Rosemary Ellen Guiley, "Some individuals suffer repeated attacks over a limited period of time; others have repeated attacks for years." This was the case for Finley, who encountered OHS until the age of 23.

Is there a scientific explanation for these strange occurrences? Despite various hypothesis, no. Sleep experts are confused over why some people encounter it, and some don't. Adding to the incertitude is why a percentage of those who do experience it more often than others.

Theoretically Speaking

Dr. Max Hirshkowitz, director of the Sleep Disorders Center at the Veterans Administration Medical Center in Houston, says we are temporarily paralyzed during REM ( dreaming sleep ) because the brain is in the transition to waking up. This paralysis is necessary, says Hirshkowitz, so that we not act out our dreams; therefore, the brain shuts off most of the body's muscle functions.

"Sometimes your brain doesn't fully switch off those dreams - or the paralysis - when you wake up," Hirshkowitz says. "That would explain the 'frozen' feeling and hallucinations associated with sleep paralysis." According to his research, the effect lasts from a few seconds to as long as a minute, but in this half-dream half-awake state, it can seem much longer to the victim.

Sleep paralysis may accompany other sleep disorders such as narcolepsy. According to the Sleep Foundation, Narcolepsy is an overpowering need to sleep caused by a problem with the brain's ability to regulate sleep. People with narcolepsy feel very sleepy during the day and may involuntarily fall asleep during normal activities.

There's also a hypnagogic state that hasn't had much attention from researchers over the years, but a recent series of studies have renewed interest in this twilight period, with the hope it can reveal something fundamental about consciousness itself. There is a brief time, between waking and sleep, when reality begins to warp. Rigid conscious thought starts to dissolve into the gently lapping waves of early stage dreaming. The world becomes a little more hallucinatory as your thoughts untether.

According to the Atlantic, sleep researchers across the world are now dedicated to recording some of the most ephemeral moments of human weirdness, which are often lost to memory after the drama and haze of dream and sleep. Talking bears are being documented. Falling school friends, noted. Researchers are working not only as neuroscientists but also as archivists of the unconstrained mind.

ThoughtCo has recorded the 'Scariest Old Hag Experiences', which don't seem to correlate with the hypnagogic state, or twilight period. But is there a conclusive connection between Night Terrors / Old Hag Syndrome, and narcolepsy / hypnagogic state of consciousness?

We may never know without more research.

More importantly, or at least puzzling, why do a certain percentage experience the same "hallucination"?

Laura Beth

Finley isn't a stranger to nightmares, real or imagined. Physically and sexually abused by her natural father, Finley also endured the trauma of watching her mother suffer the horror of domestic violence. "He was like a Dr Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde," says Finley. "He was an addict, and you never knew how he was going to act or what he was going to do."

From age four, Finley began to recognize she was different. "I grew up in a very racist family, but I only felt love," Finley explained. "I was treated very differently because of that." Contributing to that difference was Old Hag Syndrome and interactions with Shadow People. Both of which she kept secret until she was older.

Finley's mother left her father when she was seven, and Finley finally felt safe and secure enough to open up about her strange experiences.

Finley's mother immediately told her that her gifts were God-given and that she must always use them for the good of others. They attended a Pentecostal Church and became members. "I felt the energy and love of God; so became a Christian," Finley said. "It was a love I'd never felt before; it convinced me God was real." She began praying about everything, and soon sensed Light Being's protecting her from the witch and Shadow People. "I felt so safe for the first time in my life. I studied the teachings of Jesus and learned about kindness."

That sense of love and safety was short-lived, as Finley's step-father and uncle began molesting her. She suffered sexual torture at knife point, tied her up, and inflicted unimaginable physical violence. She took respite at her great-grandmother's, an Appalachian Witch, during the summer. She was taken to sacred places, taught healing and how to give love to others. "My great-grandmother would ask me how long he'd been hurting me," Finley shared. "She knew I was being abused and tried to get me to open up about it." As if that wasn't horrifying enough, her uncle abused her, "but seemed so insignificant compared to the horrid things my step father did to me," said Finlay. "He was the turning point that really changed me as a person because he was such a monster. "

When she was 12, Finley began to predict deaths, such as that of her uncle, which made her mother very nervous. "I saw my uncle speaking to a thin man at a family gathering," said Finley. "I knew right then that he was going to die."

As discussed in Part 1 of this series, Shadow People are some of the oldest supernatural beings to have been sighted. They're often reported by hospital staff, and considered bad omens. They've also been sighted in large groups by men and women who are dying, or near someone who is dying.

When Finley began to see her biological father appear in mirrors after his death, her mother cast everything ( all spirits ) out of the house in a religious ceremony. "I felt myself close," said Finley. "I didn't see spirits and my night terrors increased." Finley explained that she still maintained her deep connections; however, she stopped talking about it because everyone made her feel evil.

"I just wanted to live who I truly was," Finley said.

Enough

By 16 Finley, tired of being abused, ran away and discovered freedom for the first time in her young life. She ended up in foster care. Feeling lonely, empty, and depressed, Finley started a path to become a better person.

She decided to tell her mother about the sexual abuse she suffered from her step-father. Unfortunately, as with many cases of abuse, Finley's mother chose to believe her husband's convincing argument that it wasn't true, and young Finley was attempting to break the marriage up. It did not take long for Findley's mother to believe her , with the testimonies from others he'd abused surfacing. After group therapy Finley was returned to her mother, and her step father underwent trial and was sentenced to prison. The silver lining? "I ended up meeting Jeff, my future husband, in foster care." said Finley. "I moved in with him not long after being returned to my mother." At 17, and a senior in high school, she also became pregnant with their son, who was born on graduation day.

By the time she was 23, she was pregnant with her second child. She also earned her business degree the summer before her daughter was born. "That's when I began to open up," said Finley. "I grew past some of the childhood trauma. Being a mother began to heal me in many ways." Yet, healing can be quite painful because a traumatized person may be slow to realize the source of their pain, and find it even more difficult to face. In an attempt to sort out the jumbled anxiety that seemed to be growing with each memory that surfaced, Finley left her husband two weeks after the birth of their daughter.

According to David Sack, M.D. , board certified in addiction medicine and addiction psychiatry, "Often, it is only much later—when exposed to healthier families or when raising children of their own—that they see how damaging their childhood was." This was the case for Finley. "I still held on to so much pain from childhood that I didn’t love myself, much less love another person," she said. To ease the pain of realization, Finley experimented with marijuana to relax the tension she was under. Drugs can also become a part of the healing process, adds Sack; however, "Those who use drugs or alcohol to deal with the pain of childhood trauma may become so focused on dealing with their addiction—what is essentially a symptom of the trauma—that they never discover its source."

Fortunately, this wasn't the case for Finley. It was far worse.

In her search for answers, Finley went from living a life without very much and struggling financially to being able to provide for her 2 children. Then Finley met J at a summer party when she was 26. Within five months she found herself pregnant with her third child, and the victim of domestic violence. Seeking relief from another person is a classic behavioral pattern of those suffering from trauma, says, Sack.

"Often a person attempts to find in others what was missing from their life in an attempt to fix the past. Or they may become an approval-seeker who will go to any lengths to keep the peace or earn the love of others. Rather than valuing their own needs, they spend their energy trying to become worthy of others’ affection, often enduring further abuse in the process," explains Sack. Finley realized that she was repeating the same pattern of abuse she endured, and would continue the cycle for her own children if she didn't break it.

At age 27, unemployed, four months pregnant, and with two small children in tow, Finley left the abusive relationship to start a new life.

Healing Journey

Little did Finley know that the journey would lead her back to her first husband. Finley explains that during the separation from her husband, she learned to be independent, appreciative, and most importantly, how to be a friend. In her professional career, she learned how to market and manifest. She attributes that growth in part to the distance. "He was a big part of that because we learned to co-parent when separated, and communicate on levels that no longer involved jealousy or bitterness."

The turning point in their relationship was doing what was necessary for the children. This new friendship included studying psychology, astrology, metaphysics, sacred geometry, and discovering new truths. "Truths we resonated with rather than believing everything from the Christian faith," said Finley. "We learned the importance of discovering and supporting our own truths."

Finley and her husband officially reunited in 2017, and purchased a house this spring. "Having him back in my life has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. That time apart was so healing for us."

Since then, Finley strengthens her gifts each day. She provides a safe place for her children's spiritual growth, and encourages their unique and natural talents by homeschooling. She has also healed her relationship with her mother, who has become her advocate. "She constantly reminds me of how strong I am, like a Phoenix", says Finley.

"Gratitude has made all the difference in my life."

The Future

What Finley is most grateful for is her ability to share her gifts openly for the good of others. She is known as The Ditch Witch, and operates a successful practice and blog. " I enjoy teaching plant medicine, astrology, intention setting, folklore, and mindset," says Finley. "I help guide others on toward their spiritual journey. It is always inspiring to watch my clients connect on their own during this guidance work."

"We all have gifts within us, and I love seeing the community surrounding me embrace their natural powers, spreading their love into the world!" Finley said.

After a lifetime of feeling isolated from intimacy, Finley is finally able to connect and form lasting friendships. Especially with her business partner, Aleisha Watson, who she considers a soul twin in their joint partnership, Cosmic Wisdom's Sister Craft & Intuitive Holistics. You can also learn more about their services on Facebook.

You can schedule a personal appointment with Finley at Gaston County's premiere CoWorking and Social Community, The Perch, located inside the Owl & Ivy, located at 180 S South Street, Gastonia.

The Pheonix

History is filled with victims rising above their circumstances to new heights. Sometimes they rise toward the stars for signs and new seasons of life as their ancestors did:

“Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years[. . .]." Genesis 1:14

It was no different for Finley. She chose to rise like a Pheonix, her sparks spreading into the heavens as stars to develop true and lasting connections with her children, siblings, and friends, so that no one should ever feel like an outcast. She did it by finally being true to herself, and the natural gifts of her Appalachian Witch bloodline.

"Trauma," said Finley, "It's all about what you can do with it."

"I chose to transform mine into love."

And she has.

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